Aero

8/16/24

Leaving on a jet plane. Step 4 - journaling, inventory-ing. It's a form of confession. I don't know if Bill W journaled. Reading someone else's thoughts, pen-ning your own ideas. It feels like a spiritual act. Sorry, not sorry. Spiritual beings, after all. If I overeat, I am reducing my ability to impact the spiritual realm around me. I can't believe I confessed everything to the 8:30 group. Not much of a home group, given the circumstances. I didn't know they would take it as a compliment. But they know. It seems there is a loyalty within the group, so if I keep coming back, I may keep seeing the same people. I wonder if it's a good idea to repeat this strategy at the Bangkok church group. I wonder if I can belong to them despite it all.

Eating is really an art. Cooking is certainly an art. It (eating) contains the complexity of an art. I mean, doesn't an art require subtle decision making all along the process? And the execution must be done methodically, not haphazardly. I have apparently come to the end of my rope, and feel that I must relinquish responsibility to a higher power. That's true for most everything in my life. Don't forget those mail order meal companies. I was appalled by their existence at first. But what about now? It's another form of a power greater than yourself.

Digest. Digest the program. It IS a matter of life and death. What isn't? We are trapped here in between, straddling them all the time, really. Don't kid yourself. Life is no less of a certainty than death. No one I know wants to admit it. We are pulsating through our existences. There's a lot of pure energy propelling things. Nothing that's visible. Nothing that's easily identified. We are operating on the concrete plane, but on a truer level it is just spirit, energy, universality, cosmology perhaps. Don't kid yourself. It is no revelation. It is painfully obvious. That's why denying it results in such angst. Such imbalance. Everything is in flux. That's why you have to tap into the deeper realities. Otherwise you'll get lost in the quagmire.

Life, death, cycle ongoing. Enjoy the ride. It's over in a blink. Try. At least you can try. What is your journey? Don't stop asking.

I've tried many spiritual and religious paths. It's not like I have no basis of comparison. It's a little hard to define what I like about AA. Spirituality is like that.